This individual can provide you with coping strategies, education, and resources that will make your life a little better.If this isn’t an option for you, join a social media support group, such as the Facebook group Living with Narcissistic Emotional Abuse (where I am now an administrator). They often pretend to be co-dependents and will use this to lure victim after victim, by claiming to be one themselves. Covert Narcissists are incapable of closure and will always start a new relationship before the previous one has ended. Someone who needs me but does not respect me. Then please, for your own safety, get out! When I brought this up with him, he got angry and convinced me that I was the problem in our relationship. Open your eyes and break out of their game! They live on the edge with secret lives that only those in the closest relationships will ever see.
I go to a walk in nature or watch animal videos, as this reminds me about the joys of life. I don’t owe him access to my inner most thoughts and feelings.Also, I am in the process of acknowledging the role my past played in this relationship.The future will be different; it has to be. Are they using your friends in collusion to plan surprises to get close to you? If someone has to tell you repeatedly who they are, this is a red flag in any relationship. I have stopped feeling guilty for excluding him from parts of my life. In order to give yourself validation, keep a journal of events that happen. Pay attention. You aren’t selfish for taking time for you.Narcissists can be very negative people, and they can suck the joy out of your life. When I was firm about the fact that I would not tolerate this behavior, he went out of his way to ensure that I felt invisible. Instead, the covert narcissist is much better at showcasing their superiority in subtle manners. It is so hidden that it takes years to see, if you ever see it at all.
Know what you will and will not tolerate as well as consequences for violating each boundary. Actions are what count. In time you will know.Read books and articles on NPD; there are many helpful resources available, such as the Gray Rock method, which allows me to protect my time.Your friends and family might not understand what you are going through because narcissists often wear a mask, and the person they are in public can be very different from who they are behind closed doors.Seek out support from a therapist who has experience with narcissistic emotional abuse. Facebook groups for spouses of narcissists continue to be a source of comfort to me, because I have connected with people who understand my experience in a way that friends cannot.Narcissists try to twist facts to make themselves look good or make you appear crazy. As The Spouse of a Narcissist. This explained why he lacked empathy and why he behaved the way he did, didn’t it? It’s all fake! Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.
Give yourself time and trust that you will know how to move your life forward.I have taken the advice of these authors and have created a life for myself away from my spouse. He does do not have Asperger’s; he is a narcissist. The Covert Narcissist will cheat, dabble in many addictions (pornography, sex, drinking, gambling, stealing) or the appearance of goodness (obsessive exercise, veganism, meditation, expertise on all that is righteous), and do just about anything that violates your sense of values without an ounce of remorse or ever taking responsibility for their actions. Someone who needs me but does not respect me. If you feel comfortable, show this to someone you trust who can validate these situations. When I would bring this up as a concern, he would state that he knew how I would respond because I’m a liberal, and they always respond like X or think like Y.He would justify his actions by saying he thought people would find it funny, even though he was insulting me. I continued to love and support him despite how he treated me.As years passed I began to think that he had Asperger’s. This includes minimizing accomplishments by comparing them to their own, back-handed compliments, and other smug remarks.
As the spouse of a narcissist, I have someone who talks at me, not with me.
You were chosen before you ever met. When you are in the discard phase of the relationship, it will all be crystal clear. Narcissists are good at wearing a mask. They often pretend to be co-dependents and will use this to lure victim after victim, by claiming to be one themselves.